Pursuits

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:8, ESV

When I first started this blog to document my journey to better mental health, I had first titled it "In Pursuit of Serotonin."  It was accurate - I am on a pursuit for the neurotransmitter responsible for happiness, concentration, and stability, among other things.  Yet as I began to write on the choice behind that blog name, I began to realize it's only a tiny snippet of the truth.

Yes, it is possible that my brain produces a lower level of serotonin than others' brains do, and for that reason I am indeed finding ways, both natural and pharmacological (with a doctor, of course - self-medicating is dangerous!), to increase that level of serotonin.  However, it is not my greatest pursuit.  Happiness is a wonderful thing to have and should not be understated, but it is not the endgame.

God is.

Unfortunately, happiness is ephemeral and sometimes elusive.  We've all experienced that firsthand.  I think each one of us can remember a day where we woke up, feeling energetic and enthusiastic, only to have some misfortune come and wreck it.  (Basically, that time of year when Chick-Fil-A stops selling peach milkshakes.  That should go on way longer than it actually does.)  Happiness is still worth finding where possible - pleasure is good - but it still comes and goes, just as the waves on a shore do.

That's because the thing that isn't ephemeral and elusive is God.  He is eternal and made Himself known to us.  He is worth being the ultimate pursuit, because He is trustworthy and has promised never to leave nor forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5).  I've already had stumbles in remembering those truths, but today I get to make the choice to repent and learn to grow in grace.

Ultimately, this blog is a place for me to write about my musings and updates on the journey to improved mental health, but I hope that it points to God and how good He is.  I hope that my struggles show how God presses near to us in times of need (even when we don't feel it!), and that my successes show his Holy Spirit working in me.  In essence, yes, this blog has to do with me, but I don't want it to be about me.  I want it to be a small piece in the huge, complicated, beautiful puzzle that is God's work in saving people and bringing Himself the glory He deserves.

Hence, I have changed the blog title.  I know it doesn't have a clever pun or a cool, enigmatic byline, but it better reflects truth.  By no means am I always at peace; that which surpasses understanding comes through prayer and petition with thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6-7), an area where I definitely have room for growth.  Still, there have been times where I have experienced such peace, and trust that I will continue to do so as I pursue God through my journey for improved mental health.